Tag Archive | parents

Parents Dialogue #3: Running

[Discussing my dad’s high school marathon team] Dad: They went running every morning. At like 5 am they would get up and go for a 10K. I tried to go with them once…

Mom bursts out laughing, continues to do so for 5 minutes while we stare at her: I’ve known your high school self as a smoker and a drinker, but never a runner.

Dad: Well now you’re just being insulting. The one time I went with them I ran 4K, but it was so painful that I couldn’t even eat breakfast afterwards.

Mom tears up

CT: Why that’s the distance Mom ran today, and she’s 29 [age has been changed to compliment my mom]

Dad: I ran it a lot faster than Mom does, believe me.

Mom: Oh come now, I run 1K in less than 8 minutes! I don’t believe you could do it in less.

Dad winks at her: Depends who’s chasing me.

 

Ladies and oranges, having been privy to a good deal of my parents’ stories about their lives, I am a firm believer that sometimes the past would do good to remain buried.

Live long and prosper \V/
Yours truly,
The Mostly Confused Teenager.

PS: So many things to say, it’s been too long and I have missed TMCT. But first and foremost, RIP Leonard Nimoy.

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DANGER WILL ROBINSON *faints in horror*

panicMy parents have discovered that I have a blog [shudders uncontrollably]. What will happen to the world? What will happen to the Mostly Confused Teenager? What am I to do? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

And so I sit here, at my computer, desperately wringing my hands, wondering how in Holy Hell they found out. Did someone tell them? Did I leave the page open without meaning too? Why, o lordly cookie, why? I saw that they knew when I was standing next to my Dad’s computer looking at pictures of Mets’ rookies in dresses (please, don’t ask) when my eyes inadvertently widened and a wave of ice washed over me as the pink background of my own special hiding place appeared in his most visited sites. I stared in horror as I realized that this was practically the end of the world for me. Well, not really, but nearly.

I held out a month and a half without them knowing. That’s not very good is it? I’d like to point out that there are some things on The Mostly Confused Teenager that are inappropriate enough that I would never say them in front of my parents.  I mean as far as I know, no parent would want to read a piece their daughter wrote about erectile dysfunction. And might I also mention that I swear, say weird things and swoon over boys on here. This blog contains my secrets, it’s a place where I can say whatever the f*ck I want without repercussions. Well, within reason (I’m sure that if I wrote that koalas are sweeter than pandas some of you would come forward and yell at me). Now, just writing the word “f*ck”, even though I’m hiding a letter, makes me feel all guilty, knowing that my parents are going to read it.

So what am I supposed to do? Suggestions are greatly appreciated, because here I’m at a loss here. Should I ask them to respect my privacy? I don’t think they’d go for that, since apparently they can already be qualified as snoops. Or hey, here’s a wild idea! Mama, Daddy, since you now know the secret identity of a certain CT, why don’t you say something?

Live long and prosper \V/

Yours sincerely,

The Very Panicked Mostly Confused Teenager.

PS: this is a very celebratory 50th post isn’t it?

Guilty Pleasure nº1 — Romantic Comedies

I feel strangely embarassed to admit this, but it’s sadly true. I’m a sucker for RomComs. Isn’t that a stupid name by the way? It’s like someone was too lazy to say the whole thing out loud so they shortened it by by 3/4’s of a second. I’m a naturally lazy person but even I think that that’s taking it to extremes. And anyway I don’t know about you guys but when I hear ‘romcoms’ I think ‘Romulan Communications’. Ah, the mind of a geek.

See? I’m already trying to change the subject! Truth is, I watch a lot of chick flicks, feel all happy and then cry at the end because I’m alone and no matter how much I say that I love the single life, I don’t really think I do. And then I eat a cookie. Cookies are good, they make me happy again 🙂 My mind is easily distracted by such sweet nothings as piping hot chocolate chip cookies coming straight out of the oven.

Crap, I’m getting distracted again.

I’ve tried watching them with my parents but 1) it’s super awkward when we get to the lovemaking scenes and 2) they make fun of them incessantly. Now that’s what I usually do, laugh at everything. When we were in the cinema watching Man of Steel, at the part where he’s on his knees hugging Lois Lane (who’s standing up) on a huge plain of some kind, my friend leaned over and whispered quite seriously “How come he’s got his face in her vagina?” I promptly went into a fit of hysterical giggles and disturbed the whole audience. But laugh at my chick flicks and I will kick your ass to Pluto. In my mind. Because outside l would never give away that I love them. But quite seriously, when is my soul mate going to admit his burning passion for me under the pouring rain all while surely catching pneumonia? I know I know I’m only (almost) 16 and I’m already turning into Ted Mosby, but still.

My favorite one is The Proposal, I love Sandra Bullock’s acting, it’s funny and insanely sweet. Oh and did I mention that Ryan Reynolds is in it? That should be reason enough to love it…

Live long and prosper \V/

Yours sincerely,

The Mostly Confused Teenager.

PS: today I hit over 100 followers, 200 comments and 1000 views on The Mostly Confused Teenager. I already did a big gushy post for 40 followers so I won’t again for your health and safety but I just want to say that I love every last one of you in a most platonic fashion and that every new like, comment or follow simply makes my day. So thanks to all of you lovely aliens for making me so happy by reading my blabberings everyday!

Parents and the realm of weirdness

Parents are weird. Fact. Parents do embarrassing things. Other fact. I love my parents. Other other fact.  (weeeell, most of the time anyway)

My parents are the very definition of opposites attract: my mom is 5 feet 4 inches, dainty, quiet, with blond hair that is never out of place, and has a sort of fear of voicing her opinion (although you can tell when she disapproves because her eyes get way darker). My dad on the other hand is a 6 foot dude with a loud voice, built like a teddy bear with graying hair that goes in all directions, and round glasses. Actually if you just look at his face there is a clear resemblance with Einstein. However my parents do have some things in common: they’re both adorably cheesy and they love each other very very much. And I love them too, it’s just that sometimes they do things that make me question their sanity.

When I was little I saw my dad drinking a glass of whiskey. Being the innocent girl that I was, I asked what was in the glass. “Oh, it’s apple juice, would you like a sip?” I haven’t regained the taste for whiskey to this day. He’s also dared me to eat a chilly pepper (which I did) and to drink a bottle of salad dressing (which I did. Um…not). He calls them ‘life experiences’. My mom told me he was an idiot. Ah, love..

After reading and severely annotating a paper I had written for school in his messy handwriting and seeing the look of dismay on my face he reassured me: “don’t worry if you can’t read my handwriting, I can’t either. And if you don’t understand something I wrote, don’t ask me, I don’t know what the hell I was drinking when that pen was in my hand”. Frickin’ fabulous.

My mom has this habit where she’ll break into song at any and every point of the day, no matter where we are or who’s company we’re in. Now, she has a lovely, clear voice that rings in your ears long after she’s stopped, but starting to sing “Jeremiah was a bullfrog, tadaaa, was a good friend of mine, tadaaa” (Joy to the World, Three Dog Night) in the middle of the food court does not seem like a good idea to me. She’s very quiet when she talks, but boy when she starts singing… things change.

A couple of weeks ago my dad came up to me and said these exact words “what if God were one of us, and everyday he took the bus, and Lucy (our cat) changed her name to Gus?” The beffudled expression on my face said everything. He grinned at me and walked away. Talk about randomness.

It would take me a whole book to describe all of the odd occurences I’ve lived through in my life, but I’ll wrap up here with this one. Last week we were in New York City visiting old friends and bla bla bla. Both my parents were born there and although it seems to have left no particular mark on my mom, my dad likes to think that’s he’s still a New Yorker (please, he moved to Vermont when he was 6) so he uses this ridiculous accent whenever we’re there. Anyway, when we had just arrived, we were in a cab and he started talking to the driver. My mom nearly went into hysterics laughing at him while I pretended to have ended up in the cab by accident. The driver just looked at us like we were aliens.

But hey, at least they don’t rip off their clothes anytime they see a pool. That’s my grandad’s thing. Did I mention that I have a weird family?

Mom, Dad, I love you.

Live long and prosper \V/

Yours sincerely,

The Mostly Confused Teenager.