Tag Archive | Ryan Reynolds

My life would make a sh*tty movie

(c)TitineetMilou

(c)TitineetMilou

I’m standing in the subway, going over the Seine River, staring at a sparkling Eiffel Tower, my nose pressed against the door. It’s most unhygienic and people are looking at me weirdly. In my own fantasy world I’m riding towards a sparkly future, complete with unicorns and giant cookies. The train pitches forward and I collapse onto an elderly gentleman who looks at me as if to say “youth these days…” Back to the present. Ow, my ankle hurts.

See, this is what I do: I imagine that my life is a movie and that everything is going to turn out for the best. Of course this is a big problem because I very much doubt that Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds ( why are they all called Ryan?) is going to show up at my door under the pouring rain, profess his undying love for me and present me with a giant bouquet of roses. Yes, I’m old fashioned, deal with it. Sure, there may be bumps in the road, sort of like in the Empire Strikes Back (anyone who doesn’t instantly know what I’m talking about should be… um… forced to go a week without eating a cookie (I’m being nice 😉 )): sure, the Empire owns the Rebel Alliance just like the Jets owned the Falcons last week and like any and every team who’s played the Giants, but in the end everything ends happily. Well, not happily exactly, I mean Darth Vader could have survived and spent another couple years teaching Luke how to turn on his friends and family, but I suppose it finished the best way that it could. Meanwhile, I’ve gotten off topic. Again. *sigh*

I’m afraid that my life would be rather more like Titanic though. Picture this: CT is, as always late. She runs down the hill to the metro station, hair unbrushed, makeup already smudged. She can hear the train approaching and she knows that there’s a very good chance that she won’t make it (knowing that she’ll be late for school if she takes the later one) so she puts on a final burst of speed and tears through the constraining ticket machines. The beeper on the doors sounds, letting her know that the train is about to leave. She won’t get there on time. BUT WAIT! There’s a hot dude holding the door for her! All is saved! She enters the train just as the doors shut, crashing straight into her [really hot] saviour. Oh oh, the boy has abs. Must. Not. Swoon. After pushing her off him, hot dude goes to sit down, but he keeps glancing at CT with a half curious, half perplexed look on his face. CT is just starting to think that he might ‘like’ her when she catches a glimpse of herself in the window. Yowser. She looks like a past date red pepper (and that is not a comparison that I make lightly believe me): hair sticking up in gravity defying ways, face a vermillion shade of red, weird grin plastered on her face, kind of like the Joker. And then she hears herself. Oopsy daisy, she sounds disturbingly like a parched dog. Well, that explains the staring! End of story.

That’s another thing; I sometimes talk about myself using the 3rd person, as if I were narrating my movie. Normally I don’t think anything of it, but a couple of weeks ago, someone asked me if I was schizophrenic. My answer had to be “nooooo… just crazy”. Quite honestly, if my life were a movie, it would probably be one like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: under budget, with bad special effects, bad actors and just generally ridiculous. To make it short, my life would make a sh*tty movie.

Live long and prosper \V/

Yours sincerely,

The Mostly Confused Teenager.

Guilty Pleasure nº1 — Romantic Comedies

I feel strangely embarassed to admit this, but it’s sadly true. I’m a sucker for RomComs. Isn’t that a stupid name by the way? It’s like someone was too lazy to say the whole thing out loud so they shortened it by by 3/4’s of a second. I’m a naturally lazy person but even I think that that’s taking it to extremes. And anyway I don’t know about you guys but when I hear ‘romcoms’ I think ‘Romulan Communications’. Ah, the mind of a geek.

See? I’m already trying to change the subject! Truth is, I watch a lot of chick flicks, feel all happy and then cry at the end because I’m alone and no matter how much I say that I love the single life, I don’t really think I do. And then I eat a cookie. Cookies are good, they make me happy again 🙂 My mind is easily distracted by such sweet nothings as piping hot chocolate chip cookies coming straight out of the oven.

Crap, I’m getting distracted again.

I’ve tried watching them with my parents but 1) it’s super awkward when we get to the lovemaking scenes and 2) they make fun of them incessantly. Now that’s what I usually do, laugh at everything. When we were in the cinema watching Man of Steel, at the part where he’s on his knees hugging Lois Lane (who’s standing up) on a huge plain of some kind, my friend leaned over and whispered quite seriously “How come he’s got his face in her vagina?” I promptly went into a fit of hysterical giggles and disturbed the whole audience. But laugh at my chick flicks and I will kick your ass to Pluto. In my mind. Because outside l would never give away that I love them. But quite seriously, when is my soul mate going to admit his burning passion for me under the pouring rain all while surely catching pneumonia? I know I know I’m only (almost) 16 and I’m already turning into Ted Mosby, but still.

My favorite one is The Proposal, I love Sandra Bullock’s acting, it’s funny and insanely sweet. Oh and did I mention that Ryan Reynolds is in it? That should be reason enough to love it…

Live long and prosper \V/

Yours sincerely,

The Mostly Confused Teenager.

PS: today I hit over 100 followers, 200 comments and 1000 views on The Mostly Confused Teenager. I already did a big gushy post for 40 followers so I won’t again for your health and safety but I just want to say that I love every last one of you in a most platonic fashion and that every new like, comment or follow simply makes my day. So thanks to all of you lovely aliens for making me so happy by reading my blabberings everyday!